so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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