Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I enjoy the company of your penis
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
