ugly people sure do ruin things
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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