I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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