like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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