doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
