his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
