That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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