He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
