I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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