physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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