As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
