i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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