I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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