well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
