a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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