the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
