And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
