my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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