.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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