my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
