You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
