Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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