you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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