He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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