just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
