there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
