It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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