i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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