You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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