I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's just like the Real World with babies
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The power of my boobs compel you
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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