omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
