It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
