His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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