I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
