I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
