You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
