We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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