so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
