If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
