i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
