dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
