She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
