You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
