Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
they're like a gay fantastic four
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
