Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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