your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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