I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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