I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
