i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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