Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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