she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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